The Empty Nest

Empty Nest Syndrome.

July 27, 2023

Tis the season! Summer is winding down, and many parents are ready to send their kids off to college. How are you preparing? How are you feeling? For those that already have empty nests, how are you doing?

Positives? Negatives? Tips?

It’s such a monumental change in life.

It’s one thing to send your child off to college, it’s another to realize that after those first few years of them returning on holidays, maybe for the summer, that eventually, they’re really gone.

Hellos and Goodbyes

My son went off to CU Boulder (from California) and I celebrated the airport “Hello’s” and mourned the “Goodbyes” even while being so proud and excited for his new life. I remember seeing his room, like a still life painting, for months on end. Missed the mess that was evidence of him at home. At the supermarket, I’d reach for some of his favorite foods, and then realize with a start, that he wasn’t at home. My Daughter and I spent a lot of time together.

As my Daughter was ready to graduate high school, and was receiving all the verdicts from universities, I was blindsided with my marriage falling apart. My Empty Nest Syndrome was amplified by not just the kids leaving, but hubby (de facto) as well.

Daughter went off to USC, her dream school, while Son went to Ireland on a Semester Abroad (and basically never came back for six years).

All a Blur

The years passed by in flurry of visits “home” and my trips to see them. Divorce. Pandemic. College graduations 2020. Pride. Love. Bittersweet moments.

In hindsight, with all of the upheaval, I’m realizing I hardly processed my Empty Nest. I’m on the other side and doing well at last. Enjoying watching my kids grow into amazing adults.

Letting Go

As parents, we prep in baby steps of letting go, from preschool to kindergarten, to that first sleepover. Overnight science camps, then sending them off to the battlefield of junior high or middle school. High school. Driving! Letting go moment by moment, until they’re gone.

I’m writing this on my Daughter’s 25th birthday, currently across the country from her. A week after my Son got engaged to his long time girlfriend. I couldn’t be happier for both of them, and proud of their independent flight into life.

Rediscovering Me

But there are moments when you blink, and can’t believe that your former family of four is all apart, and you are essentially alone in the world. I morphed into Second Chapter Nomad, and am enjoying this new phase. Cherishing time I get to spend with my kids (and friends and family). Discovering more of myself, that may have been lost in those years of child raising. Those dreams of having more time to read, write, travel, do what I wanted. Well, that time has come.