(September 2020, from my journals. Last post of Africa, mid-Pandemic, mid-divorce.) See previous post: https://secondchapternomad.blog/2023/04/03/zanzibar-dreams-part-5-the-music-video-and-a-dhow-to-nakupenda-island/
https://www.expedia.com/shop/second-chapter-nomad/africa (small commission if booked through me)
Dress Shopping for Wedding
When your hotel housekeeper invites you to her sister’s Muslim Zanzibar wedding, you have one of your favorite waiters from your hotel (Is-Hak, same one who took me on his motorcycle to try and fix my phone three weeks ago) take you shopping for a dress – and a suitcase to take all these kitenges and other treasures home. No shopping expedition is easy here. It takes major bargaining in Swahili to try to not get muzungu (white foreigner prices) – nor lost in the crazy mazes and alleyways here in Stone Town. Buying a culturally appropriate dress was an adventure, with covered female shopkeepers guiding me. I am so excited for this wedding experience!
MEETING IS-HAK’S WIFE, NEW “RAFIKI”
To continue the day, Is-Hak really wanted me to meet his wife Maryam. So we met at a Swahili restaurant. She was extremely shy, but so excited to meet me. They shared their recent exquisite wedding photos with me (if that’s any indication, I’m in for a real treat!). He had to go back to work so he had me take her back to the hotel. Amazingly, she has never been to his place of work. She was trembling with nerves and had to hold my hand, and recover in my room for a bit before facing the public and staff.
I gave her a little tour, and she wanted some photos of herself. We sat in awkward silence having a soda, ocean front. She then proclaimed me her first “rafiki” (friend). I was hoping this was a lost in translation moment, but I think she literally has no friends, and doesn’t go out. She’s 24, a university grad. These are slice-of-life moments an ordinary tourist would never experience, and some of the benefits of traveling alone.
GIFTS AND MORE GIFTS
Last night I had a special delivery of homemade cookies from the waiter’s wife Maryam. Then a rap at my door at 8:00 am as I’m asleep entombed in my mosquito net canopy. Asha, the housekeeper who is taking me to her sister’s wedding today, had a traditional dress in hand for me to wear to the day event “at home”. Oh my, this is going to be a treat! My current understanding is I’m going with her, then I return to change for the night event at a “hall”. For that I’ll change into the traditional dress that my waiter and entourage helped me pick out. Here is a sneak peek of the colors going on here. I can’t wait! To be continued…
(Side Note: Received horrid divorce documents. Ugh. Buzzkill. Still went swimming in the glorious ocean. At Livingstone beach cafe working. Won’t let anything ruin my hakuna matata vibes.)
LATER – THE VILLAGE PRE-WEDDING
WOW wow and wow. I am overwhelmed. I am taking a breather after the “day wedding” and prepping for the night event. Let’s start at the beginning. Asha, the housekeeper brought me a “dira” today for me to wear (a Muslim style dress). Little did I know it would be matching her and her sisters and others (was I a de facto bridesmaid?). I had to wear a head scarf. She picked me up in a “taxi” at 2:30 and we went to her village home (very very humble) to get her clothes. Then we were off to the “house” wedding. As usual, I never know what’s coming next.
We rumbled through the dirt roads in the village to a tin roofed, dirt floor home where about fifty women and children sat on the ground in all their glorious colors. There has most certainly never been a “muzungu” in these parts. They all stared at me for some time. The children flocked to me. A few “mambos” and the ladies warmed up. I was ushered in, barefoot, in the dirt to sit on the floor. A few grandmas served me “pilau” and I had a massive audience watch me eat. No one else was eating. They were giddy when I whipped out “chakula katam” (delicious). Endless selfies with children. Photos and videos galore. I’m dripping in dirt and sweat (head scarves are hot!). Smiles. Then I was told it was time to go dancing. So down the dirt road I’m led to a house where the bride was arriving.
LATER – VILLAGE – THE BRIDE AND GROOM
I had the great privilege to watch the bride arrive, completely covered (not even slits for eyes!). She was led by Asha and her sisters. I was guided to follow into the special room where she unveiled herself (she still was covered, but her face in all its makeup, and her henna and jewels were on full display) and had a huge photo shoot. Soon I was instructed to sit with her for photos.
GIFT GIVING TO THE BRIDE
Later there was a grand display of me presenting her a gift (the waiter had purchased it for me, apparently it’s a custom to give some cultural dress). Photos and videos of this were taken.
THE GROOM ARRIVES
I was again led by the sisters to watch the groom’s arrival out of a car to a lively drum beat section. The whole village had gathered, sitting on trucks, walls, and dancing in every space. The groom arrived and was escorted in to see his bride privately.
Meanwhile a dance party went on and I was center stage (with hundreds of giggly eyes on me). There was a conga line of sorts to African rhythms). So many little adorable girls were my shadows.
After a bit, the bride and groom exited the building. The bride once again was completely covered. They went off in the car. Dance party continued.
QUICK CHANGE AT HOTEL
I have yet to figure out when the couple is/was actually married. I was taken back in the “taxi” to the hotel for this quick change to my evening wear. No idea what’s coming next! Sitting in my room, taking a breath, and other other housekeepers just knocked on my door to look at my photos of the wedding and to take selfies. I have never been less alone on a trip, haha!
This is quite the grand finale I must say. Definitely feels like the final scene in a film.
THE WEDDING NIGHT RECEPTION
So I was ushered back to the hotel to change for the night. Asha picked me back up with the drivers. We drove quite a distance to the “family hall” where the wedding reception was in full swing – it is for women only. As we entered many women wanted to pose with me for photos. We were a bit late, so the muzungu created a spectacle yet again. You enter barefoot, and find a place on the ground around low tables.
There were a few nibbles and ice cream (thank goodness I had a few bites of the pilau before; this trip is definitely for weight loss). No alcohol of course. Live music. Before I could settle and try to blend in (impossible) I was ordered to the dance floor – alone – to dance!! The entire crowd was delighted. I have felt like a character in my own script, so I just went with it. After a bizarre time alone (with many a photo and video created) numerous women and children joined me. This was definitely one of the more interesting day/night of my life.
GROOM ENTERS WEDDING RECEPTION
After awhile the groom made a grand entrance to the stage. Soon the bride entered in all her glory, no longer covered. There were endless photo ops (which I was included in over and over). More dancing. I was with Asha and other sister most of the night, but I was welcomed by everyone with delight. The entire day I was immersed in Swahili. My few words and phrases, and endless smiles, seemed to do the trick.
I have never met a more welcoming, beautiful, giving people in all my life than those from Tanzania and Zanzibar. This was quite a last night. I’m going to have massive culture shock. I don’t think anything could top today.
Day 47 – THE END
Is-Hak and Maryam insisted on taking me to the airport. So sweet. So many new rafikis (friends). After 4 flights, 36 hours, masked up, anti-social, I’ve got some readjusting to do. I will forever cherish 6+ weeks of the human touch, smiles, eye contact, connection. Currently in an LAX hotel, where eating/drinking isn’t allowed except in your room. Where the sun looks like an African sunset, but it’s due to the horrible fires and smoke. BUT I had my first hot, high pressure shower in six weeks! Glorious. Ten hour time change. Time for slumber. Can’t wait to see my people here who I’ve missed. Back in Cali. xo
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